


Fire and Ice

by DildoFaggins



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), God of War (Video Games)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:08:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26746384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DildoFaggins/pseuds/DildoFaggins
Summary: Never, ever, accept drinks you know nothing about form people you don't entirely trust.That's the moral of this story, and boy, is it an important one.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	Fire and Ice

My head fucking _hurt_.

I groaned as I tried to turn, what, was I sleeping on the ground again? Trying to open my eyes sent a stabbing ache through my head, so I held off of that for a minute. I tried my best to get into a sitting position, ignoring the little aches and pains that usually went hand in hand with sleeping in an uncomfortable position on a hard surface for any length of time, and practiced breathing through my nose.

No urge to hurl. That’s a huge plus. At least Damien could be held to his words once in a while – that blue shit didn’t give me the puking part of a hangover, at least.

Just about everything else, though, was ten times worse.

I began to squint my eyes against the harsh sunlight, then blinked.

There was no sun.

Well, that’s not strictly correct, actually. There _was_ sun, it was just hidden behind a heavy layer of clouds. I couldn’t even pinpoint where it was in the sky. My hands felt my pockets for my phone but, as luck would have it, both it and my wallet were gone.

Okay, never mind, fuck Damien. That was the fifth time in the past year alone…

I jerked a bit when my hands touched something unfamiliar. I pulled what felt like metal out and stared at the object in my hands with confusion.

Was that… a key-chain?

It was adorable, being honest – it looked like incredibly detailed miniature of the Leviathan Axe from God of War. I turned it this way and that, trying to see where was the hoop, but did not find one, and, as a bonus, ended up cutting myself on the incredibly sharp mini axe-head.

Kudos for authenticity, but how did this get into my pocket? I wracked my brain, but last night was still a blur. I remember going to some guy’s party with Damien and Kay, and then…

Blank.

Well, it had to be a good night if I don’t remember anything at all. Usually, I at least had a rough estimate of what went down.

I shrugged the matter off and unsteadily got to my feet, miniature in my _carefully_ closed fist as I stretched. First point of order is to get back to civilization, buy myself a new crappy phone, then blow up Damien’s with curses. With that ritual completed, I could go back and pass out and hopefully not wake up again till tomorrow.

I picked a random direction and trudged along, pulling myself tighter. It was humid and cold, which was really not a good combination. I thanked my stars that I actually wore one of my thicker shirts last night-

Wait.

I looked down at my sleeves in confusion.

This was not my jacket. Or my jeans. Or my boots.

I stared at what had to be something out of Game of Thrones. Brown slacks, heavy sleeveless grey tunic, and what looked like totally scuffed vintage boots, and a very strange watch.

Duh, I didn’t have my phone and wallet on hand, I was in someone else’s clothes! Really… well-fitting clothes, at that. Did I get lucky last night? But even if I did, someone whose clothes fit me like a second skin was not my type at all.

I need to get back home.

I rubbed my eyes with my free hand and trudged along, sometimes gripping the nearest tree for support. Another thing that was really bothering me – my skin looked strange. I guess it was the dullness overhead or something but my usually gloriously dark skin was pale as fuck. Was it the drink playing tricks on me?

I should really learn to stop trusting Damien and whatever he hands me, Jesus Christ.

I saw some more light ahead and grinned weakly, hurrying up the pace. But the sounds I soon heard wiped the grin right off of it. My pace hurried a bit as the first inklings of worry drifted through the fog of my hangover, and I finally started feeling a little anxious.

Sure enough, right as I got out of the tree-line, I was faced with a cliff.

I stared at it for a moment, then turned back and stared at the forest. Now that I thought about it, I’ve never seen those kind of trees around, either. It’s too dry in… where I’m from… for those kind of trees to flourish there. Also, it was the middle of summer – how the fuck are there storm clouds overhead?

I looked out towards the sea and tried to place where I was.

Nope.

Zero. Nothing.

I giggled.

You’ve gone and really fucked up this time, John.

Realistically speaking, it had to happen sooner or later. I was far too frivolous, far too much addicted to drink, for this not to. I’ve woken up in a lot of strange places, and had once taken days to get back home.

It wasn’t too far of a stretch for me to wake up in the middle of nowhere, in someone else’s clothes, having lost my personal effects.

I crumbled a bit then – _look what I used to be and look what I am now, you asshole, hope you’re suffering just as I am_ – but shook my head and took in a deep breath. Inhale, exhale.

Inhale, exhale.

Inhale-

A snap of a twig pulled me out of my calm-the-fuck-down routine, making me whirl towards the sound.

Four pairs of yellow eyes glinted in the darkness. With the crunch of padded feet on twigs and other forest detritus, wolves emerged from the canopy, stalking forward with their head lowered in a threatening manner.

I gulped heavily.

There were no wolves for hundreds of kilometers around my home either. I lived in a desert, for crying out loud.

I shook my head and took a careful step back, only to just barely avoid plummeting to my death on the rocky crags below. Damnit, I was caught between falling to my death and getting eaten to death.

One of the wolves snarled, and lunged. I am not at all ashamed to say I screamed like a little girl and hurled my fist out.

The clear sound of metal slicing through flesh and then wood made me open my eyes in shock.

The three wolves were still advancing on me, muzzles now far fiercer, but in the trees directly in front of me… well, the miniature was not a miniature anymore. A narrow stretch of trees had been totally cut through. In front of me, the body of the wolf fell, while the head hit my knee, splattering the pants with blood, and then rolled back.

I blinked.

The next second, my stomach was threatening to hurl its non-existent contents. I’ve never really been one for gore in real life, even though I loved gory movies and clips. When my mum gutted animals or fish for supper, I was usually far, far away from the kitchen because I hated it so much.

I killed.

I killed a _canine_.

A wild dog, but still a dog. Oh god, I feel horrible. This guy was literally just trying to eat, to survive! How am I ever going to be able to look Jawsworth in the eye-

Another wolf lunged.

Automatically, perhaps on instinct, I held my left hand out in front of me and some contraption I didn’t notice before clicked and expanded to swiftly warp into a shield at record time. The wolf hit the shield snarling and clawing.

I screamed again, although this time I must say it was a tiny bit less frightened one, and pushed him off.

The wolf went flying.

This time, the other two wolves and I both paused and blinked in bafflement. The poor canine let out a mournful howl as he went sailing over the tree-line, high and far. There was a rustle in the distance as he dropped out of sight.

Two.

I basically killed what amounted to two wild dogs.

I turned to look at the wolves, and just couldn’t compute _what the fuck was happening_. In the end, I opted to deal with this situation first and then focus on freaking out.

So, if, and this really is an outlandish if, I have the Guardian Shield and super strength… does this mean I have the genuine Leviathan Axe? Because if so-

I held my hand out and called to it.

A familiar chopping sound graced my ears and a few more trees fell to lean on their brethren, but the axe was soon zooming towards me like an eager puppy. For a second I had a mini freak out about catching the damn thing without lopping my arm off on its super-sharp edge, but then it just snugly fit into my outstretched hand where it belonged.

Huh, that’s a thing.

I grinned weakly at the wolves, who now appeared wary, but were still advancing. Why?! I literally decapitated one of their friends and punted another! Aren’t wolves supposed to be smarter?!

They paused a few feet away, eyes trained on Leviathan. Hm, that’s odd, their faces look…

Oh. They’re… starving. Their ribs were sunken in, their feet quivered a bit as they stood. Their shoulder blades clearly visible as they hunched their heads a bit.

I just… ugh, this is a shitty situation. What do I do? Do I have to kill these poor things?

The choice was taken out of my hands when they both lunged as one.

A morose sound fell from my lips as I sung on my heel and spun, using a blunt side to hit them aside, right off the cliff. I closed my eyes and did my best to ignore their whines, but was not successful when I heard the two thuds as they hit the rocks below. The following splash was like disinfectant on a cut.

I looked at Leviathan in my hand. That… just happened.

I just killed four starving-out-of-their-mind creatures with a magic axe and an impossible shield.

What the fuck?

_What the fuck?!_

Am I still drunk, is that it? Not possible. There is no drink that can alter one’s perception of reality down to the minutiae to such a degree.

Was I doping on something? Nah, weed doesn’t do _this_ , and I always say a hard no to anything else, no matter how gone I am.

Was I dreaming? Possibly, but… can you be hurt in dreams? That tiny cut from the edge of Leviathan still stung like a papercut, so what’s that signify?

Damn it. Damn it all to hell.

‘Okay, deep breaths, man. I’m gonna get through this.’

I needed to find someone to figure out where I am, first. Then, I could do anything else. I could freak out when I know I’m safe and no wolves will crawl out of the woods to feast on me.

I gave the body of the decapitated wolf a long look, just… seeing. Then, I walked past it without a backward glance.


End file.
